Happiness Has Nine Letters
On a piece of paper, I was asked what makes my soul happy. Torn about what to answer, I simply left it blank not because I was unsure but because I could not just write a lie.
After nearly twenty years, I managed to unfold the genuine feeling of life being good because Seventeen exists.
On one random night, a video came across my for you page in Tiktok — a man who is screaming his lungs out after touching an udon in a box. That man introduced me to another twelve souls whose presence became an integral part of me. This is a letter from a happy soul to thirteen grown men who heal hearts they didn’t even break.
Meeting Seventeen is like a breath of fresh air in this suffocating world with cruel reality. Looking back, Seventeen and I are in an invisible string theory but in idols and fan versions. Who would have known that I was just watching a music video of them when I was in junior high school but college happens and that’s when they came to save me. If only I had known back then how much they would make my burdens lighter, I would gladly embrace them tightly. Perhaps, I was not ready to love them back then. Now, I am.
Thirteen is a large number. But with Seventeen, they make it feel like a family and infect happiness to lost and tired souls.
I often cast a prayer to send someone who can help me to ease the hardships within me but He sent Seventeen as an antidote. Consuming their variety shows, streaming their music videos, adding edits of them to bookmarks, watching their lives on Weverse, and reading their words of affirmation for their fans is enough for me to stay and being alive. Maybe, life is bearable with them after all.
With them, I started to learn to look forward to the future. With them, I bumped into people who shared the same love and sentiments for them. The kidult in me always cheers for them and is willing to shout to the world how proud she is of these boys. It’s crazy how I was not even there during their first “Say the name!” but looking back, I felt like a proud sister, cheering from afar and with a smile on her lips.
Life back then felt like there was a rock that burdened me. Slipping into the diamond life introduced me to embracing struggles with a hug and fighting monsters with hope. In this lifetime, this is my second life and I wanna rock with them twenty-four-seven. Despite the traumas life hits me, I will crush it and PANG! I will still come home to them.
To you, we, CARATS are shining diamonds but to me, you are the gems I am willing to hold even after your last “Say the name!”
I have been never part of the crowds who roar for them but soon, if the universe will allow me to meet them, I will be the happiest. But right now, I am contented with what I have, and supporting them behind the screen of my phone is enough. Knowing them feels like an untold dream is being fulfilled as they helped me to navigate to my other dreams as well. Meeting them was like a dream as well because, without them, I would not have realized that I was capable of loving this way.
As cliche as it may sound, they saved me from ending my story. They chose to live in it so I could run and continue. What would I do without them? I do not know because I have them. I hit the rock bottom of loving and supporting them. I may not know their struggles behind closed doors but I am going to wait for them just like how they waited for me for eight whole years. They are the living proof of comfort and kindness.
I have known them since my teenage years. I started loving them three months after I turned twenty. I will continue loving them even after seventy. If given a chance to wish on a dandelion, I would ask to meet them sooner if possible.
Their existence will always be included in every good thing I achieved and I will achieve in the later parts of my life. They are seventeen times greater than those who try to shake them. I am eternally grateful for discovering their existence.
Thank you for being strong, especially from the start. Thank you for creating music that heals millions of heartbeats. Music that has a spell of infecting positivity to every soul.
So the next time someone will ask me what is happiness? It is a nine-letter word called Seventeen.
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This article is inspired by thekidultwriter. To Seventeen, I am eight years late even though I am not(?) But in your ninth year, I promise to be with you until the end. To Cheol, Hannie, Shua, Jun, Hoshi, Wonu, Uji, DK, Gyu, Hao, Kwannie, Bonon, and Dino, you are my happiness. Saranghae!
